~Irish Eyes~

~Irish Eyes~

First I want to give a shout out to my friend Sara. She's doing her very first giveaway!

Please visit her here at:http://worksofartbysara.blogspot.com/ Join in on her giveaway,Winner will be announced on April 1st!

Please also visit her Etsy shop here:http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5553170

I'm sure ya'll find something that ya can't live without.

I was going to share my Irish Eyes with ya last night, but I remembered I needed to tell my secret of the Tub Girl. I made her the other night and I wasn't even planning her. It was really late when I went to my Tbed. It was already 3am but I knew I needed to create before I could sleep. I pulled out my art supplies and made Irish Eyes. I was gonna call her Pisi Ista but no one would know what that meant but me, or another Native American. Pisi Ista means Green Eyes. She does have green eyes, But she looked more Irish then Native American.

I was asked to do some Native American ladies soon. To be honest, I never know what is gonna come out of my art. I don't sit down with an idea before I begin, Unless it's a challenge piece. I just go with the flow. I used Chalk Pastels and Black Ink to make her.

I came down the next morning with her to take pictures of her. Lil Love of course had to look at it and give me her opinion. I received a "Cool, Ni Ni" She then ran with it and showed her Mamma. It's nice when I get her approval. I told my daughter "Lil Love is most definately gonna be a future artist!"

I am working on a few smaller pieces that I can send in some cards to some special people in my life. This is a first for me. Normally all my work is done on 8 x11 size. I'm trying to step out of my comfort zone. Learn to make some smaller pieces, and then work my way up to larger pieces. The one I made last night was just as cute as Irish Eyes, When I have them all done I will post a picture of them.

Please don't forget to visit Sara and enter her drawing!

~Just Call Me Tub Girl~

~Tub Girl's Bed~

Thanks to everyone who gave me encouraging words and most of all the love & hugs! Ya don't know what they mean to me. I'm feeling a bit better, I know it's going to take me some time to get back to my old self. But knowing I can come here and share from my heart with ya is truly wonderful.

I know I said I would share with ya WHY I sleep in a tub.... I should tease ya and letcha wonder another night. But a PROMISE is a PROMISE and I don't break them!

The above picture is actually my bathroom and it's made up as ya see it. I DO sleep in this tub every night. I am a mere 4 foot 11 and 1/4 inch tall so I am comfy. Trust me I sleep really well.

Now onto WHY I choose to sleep in a tub and not a bed.

I explained how we renovated Mamma's home so each of us had our own room.

I'm gonna go back a bit to how we were before the move,which will explain the now of my sleeping arrangements.

Hubby and I don't sleep together, Doesn't mean we don't love each other or have quality time. We do, we just have to sleep apart for medical reasons. In 2003 hubby was in a near fatal wreck with a drunk driver. In 2005 I stupidly injured my ankle at work. I was tip-toeing for an item, and ripped the tendons and shealth from my ankle bone. It required surgery, which should have taken place immmediately. But didn't happen for four months. By then I was in my sixth cast and cam walker.

I ended up getting RSD, It's a condition I will never be free from. I am considered permently handicapped. RSD stands for Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. Basically it's nerve damage and the symptoms I suffer from are...

Body chemestry is off. Right now it's winter and I'm in shorts. This Summer, I will be sitting at a pool wearing a hoodie and under blankets. Because I will be cold and shivering.

I have constant pain like someone is stabbing up and down my whole leg not just my ankle. I have VIOLENT Leg Tremors. I've been on all kinds of pain meds and nothing touches the pain.

Now this is where Hubby comes in. Hubby loves me so much he was keeping his back pain to himself. He would suffer in silence to continue sleeping with me. Well one night before I had surgery, I had one of those leg tremors. Now picture waking in the middle of the night with ya worst charlie horse, times that pain by 1000. I was wearing a cast and a cam walker to bed, I got a tremor and the next thing I knew my leg came down on Hubby.

How do I put this? Ummm Hubby's special place was where my whole cast and cam walker landed. Not once but a few times.

Can we all have a moment of silence for hubby, and his special place and the abuse he endured....

Ok, quit laughing! I honestly didn't do it on purpose. But these tremors are out of my control and hubby was the one being hurt. We decided for the sake of our love for each other,and hubby's special place, separate rooms was best. Now I know ya asking why we couldn't just get twin beds? Honestly we thought of that for a split second. But when these tremors come, I'm in so much pain I cry out in my sleep and wake him. He stays awake till I fall asleep again. This isn't healthy for hubby when he works long hours. Now that explains why Hubby isn't in my tub with me, he has his own bed.

Fast forward to the move into Mamma's.When I packed the old house up, I made sure each box was tagged on all four sides and top as to which room they need to be in. Did this simple gesture go smoothly for me? UHhhh NOPE! What happened was the guys who helped us move put EVERY BOX known to man in MY ROOM. Which by the way is the biggest room.

Hubby wanted me to have the biggest room for my quilting and art as well as sleeping. He's such a sweetie. Now what my problem with all of the boxes being in my room was they were stacked floor to ceiling high! I had no where to move in order to start unpacking.

I managed to get the bed set up, No linens on it but set up. I would empty a box and set the items on the bed. When I was tired I would then take everything off the bed and crash as is. Well it happened to where one night, or should I say morning because it was 5am. I was so exhausted, I went to the bathroom and washed my face, brushed my teeth. I got to thinking. "I'm too tired to move all that stuff off the bed to only put it back the next morning" I looked at my empty tub and thought why not? I didn't have any floor space to lay on, so the tub was an easy solution. I grabbed my quilts and pillows and made my bed. There I've been ever since.

How did I get the name TUB GIRL? Why from Suzi Blu! We were chatting on line and don't ask me how but it was mentioned I sleep in my tub. No one believed me they thought I was joking, and Suzi asked me for a picture. The picture above is the proof. So Suzi, Marylin, Sunny and Kelly call me Tub Girl or Poe. That's how I got my name, and that's why I sleep in my tub.

Every night before bed I make art. It helps me to relax and I sleep better. I decided if I should sell my art in the future I will be known as Tub Girl Art. A tribute to my nickname Suzi Blu gave me. I also made myself a logo, I love the old style bathtubs, I grew up taking such wonderful bubble baths in them. So I drew one and added a funny looking girl in the tub. I haven't colored it in because I want to make me some T-Shirts with the logo on it. Let me know whatcha think?

Ya know I'm wondering when all my boxes are unpacked, and I can sleep in my bed again. I wonder will I be able to make art like I can when I'm in my tub? Or will I actually have to climb inside my tub to continue making my art?

Hmmmm good questions...Guess ya'll have to wait and see won'tcha?

~Her Words Are Silenced~

~Her Words Are Silenced~

Sometimes I feel like I'm in a room filled with people. Screaming at the top of my lungs, and NO ONE turns and notices me. It's like my voice is unheard by others. Why is it people feel the need to ask ya questions, yet they don't act interested in ya response? Do they ask of politeness yet they could careless?

Lately I find my self not wanting to talk to anyone except online. Why? Because my friends online actually read what I write. I am heard and responded to. Sad isn't it? That I would prefer the company of faces I've only seen through photos? Whose words touch me deeper then those who are supposed to love me? Don't get me wrong this isn't a pity party I'm having for myself. It's just a observation that I am making.

I've been working on the book The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron.

Makes ya delve deep inside yaself and face obsticles which keep ya from being creative. I've noticed through this process how I've allowed people to dictate how my life should go. How I've allowed people to use up my creativeness and not replenish it. I've made decisions the past year that friends and family have questioned. I put it to them this way. I've allowed others to dictate my world for so long, that it's time I do what I want to do. They may not like my way but that's ok. I have to do what makes me happy.

I've been wanting to create art and write my book. And I've allowed others to speak negativity to me. I've allowed those words to penetrate my mind and soul, to stifle my creative world. Now I'm taking action and doing what I need to do to create and bring myself back to life.

I am looking forward to see how far I will grow in my art.

Changes I've made have included ending an 18 year friendship.I ended this friendship when I tried to bring it to her attention my hurt.She refused to accept my feelings. This person was a best friend who could not be there when I need her the most. I was with her and another friend, who had asked me how Mamma was. Because she had surgery that day. I am in the middle of pouring out my heart and tears streaming down my face, explaining how the doctors believe it's a matter of time. When my "Best Friend" interupts me mid-sentence and changes the subject. I sat in disbelief! My other friend even registered shock on her face. I knew then that my so called Best Friend could not be there when I needed her. I was there for her when she lost her father who she never met. Yet she couldn't be there for me, and she knew Mamma personally.

I've also quit jumping and doing for others even when my spirit is screaming no. I used to always do things, or go places I didn't want to for others. Afraid to hurt their feelings. But when it comes right down to it, Why should I do what I don't want to do? Why can't I be honest with them, and they accept my answer when I say no to something? Why do they feel the need to convince me to do this or go here? I've made it clear I won't be talked into something when I know my Spirit is telling me not to. God gives us this inner voice for a reason and I need to start to listen. Every time I've gone against my inner spirit I've been the one to pay the price.

I've also changed how I view my art, and how I need to have everything in it's place before I can create. Yes, most of my art supplies are still packed away and I moved a year ago. Yes, I sleep in a bathtub until I can set up my room. (Don't ask me why, I'll make that my next entry for ya) lol But I DO have some supplies unpacked, and I'm working with what I have. I'm not one who will run out and but extra supplies knowing I have them already.

As ya can see from the picture above that I am working on my inner muse. No this isn't a self portrait of any kind. It's actually an accident which I LOVE! I was drawing her out with my pencil and decided to let loose. I pulled out my Chalk Pastels and played around with them. I really like her eyes. I'm happy with how she turned out and I call this piece "Her Words Are Silenced" The reason why I'm calling it that is, I was thinking of my childhood and the silence which I was forced into.I plan on using her for my Poetry book since I have a poem which fits well with it. So far I've done four pictures for my book. This is one of the things I've been putting off doing for the sake of others.

I have the approval of Lil Love on this picture.

In fact I will tell ya what Lil Love thought of this one picture. She said it in one word. "COOL!" then she ran and showed it to Mamma and said "Ni Ni colored, cool" Such an honest response from an almost two year old. Lil Love has an opinion on all my art work. She sees them as I take pictures of them to post. I remember one piece I drew, she laid it on the couch and crossed her arms staring at it. She then jumped up and started chatting away. I teasingly asked her what she didn't like about it. She points to my picture and starts explaining, I wish I understood her and her helpful tips to improve on my picture. Lil Love likes to look at ALL my pictures, and if it's one she likes she tries to keep them. I have to confess I almost lost this one to her.

~Broken In A Million Pieces~

~Broken In A Million Pieces~

Have ya ever felt so broken, that ya actually feel like ya in a million pieces?

I am feeling this way, I 'm really having a hard time writing right now. My eyes are filling with tears. I won't go into great details of why I'm feeling like this. I will say it has to do with the feelings I've pushed down deep inside of me coming to the surface.

When my Mamma (Mother In Law) was dying from Cancer, I had a lot more responsibilities to take care of. When Mamma died a huge hunk of me went with her. Funny isn't it, how I'm speaking of my Mother In Law? Some people think it's not right. What those around me didn't know, was she was more than that to me and I to her.

She was and still is the very existance of who I am. Mamma was the one person who spoke into my life, and changed the uglyness of my childhood into beauty. Mamma showed me what love was truly meant to be on the receiving end. She called me her daughter and never once called me daughter in law. She loved me through and through.

Something happened today (which is what I won't share) That pushed me into this mood. I am broken, and I'm not sure if I can pull myself out of this like I did the last time. I feel as if I just lost Mamma all over again. When Mamma died I had to go through her personal belongings. I felt like a thief rummaging through looking for goods. I felt like I was snooping into her life which I wouldn't want anyone to do to me. I struggled with this, I kept apologizing to Mamma as I sorted, packed, and donated her belongings. I knew Mamma wouldn't mind the donations. She had such a giving heart.

While dealing with Mamma's belongings, I also had to deal with the renovations we were doing to her home. We knew she loved this home and couldn't see someone else living there. This is where I had to push my grief down deeper. I didn't have a minutes peace between working, packing Mamma's things and packing our home for the impending move. I was at full speed and not signs of when it would stop.

With all of this we moved in Mamma's home. I felt bad Mamma couldn't enjoy the changes made to her home. She lived in a 2 bedroom,2 bath home. When it was done her home was a beautiful 4 bedroom 3 full bath home, with a new kitchen. I know she would have loved it. My goal was to finish unpacking my room, and then having Mamma's ashes in my room till I was ready to let her go.

I want to desperately make over the backyard for Mamma. I would like to have a fountain and a beautiful corner bench to sit on. Then an Angel statue beside a Gardenia Bush. I want a plaque made up with Mamma's name and then have Mamma's ashes placed there. I feel this is Mamma's home and always will be. I'm just not ready to let her go yet.

I know all of this sounds insane since Mamma is already with her Lord. I told her I would see her again and she said yes. Our last moments together play over and over in my mind.

I was feeling really sad and needed an Angel. That's when I was Blessed with Mystele!

She posted her latest work here...http://mystele.blogspot.com/

I was indeed met with an Angel. Her Angel was so what I needed! Her eyes spoke to me, Gave me a comfort I really need right now. It's like she knows how my heart is aching and she wants to be there for me. I know ya think I'm crazy it's ok. I truly feel her Angel was a unexpected Blessing to me. Sometimes that's all we need to make it through another day.

Here's the Poem I wrote for Mamma with her final words she gave me.

~My Daughter You'll Always Be~

Born not from her womb, But within her heart.

She called me her daughter right from the start.

Our relationship began when I was sixteen,

It wasn't all perfect, it grew gradually.

Through our journey together she repeatly said,

I love you my daughter, Keep that in your head.

Mamma was Gods unique gift you see,

Because I never knew love like she gave to me.

No one is concerned about me losing my Mamma,

They don't think to ask, they don't even bother.

Though people call me just the daughter-in-law,

When Mamma looked at me, a daughter she saw.

No one understands the depth of love that we shared,

They never saw how much each of us cared.

I never knew I could lose Mamma unexpectedly,

Her final words mean ever so much more to me.

Mamma left me with one final memory,

She held my face gently as she said to me.

I love you forever, I've loved you for so long,

Know in my heart is where you belong.

I started to cry as she spoke to me,

I love you forever, My daughter you'll always be.

Poetic Dreams ©October 13th,2007

~For Shell~

~For Shell~

I was playing around with my Corel Paintshop tonight.

I decided to make a couple of tags for one of my blog readers Shell.

I've mentioned her before, her Blog is http://swanofdreamers.blogspot.com/

She has this adorable saying as a header, Act. Do. Dream. Create. Be.

I thought it would be cute to add to a tag. Plus it's a nice motto to live by.

This is the results of my efforts.
I know they're nothing fancy. I just like to make tags for friends when I have the time. I used to belong to a tag making group on MSN. That is until MSN closed down their groups. I wasn't a pro like most of the girls in my group but it was fun learning from them.

I was thinking, If ya wanted me to make ya a cute lil tag I would. Just let me know whatcha like and what ya want written on it. When I can I'll make ya a tag and leave it here on my blog for ya. I'll even post ya blog site for others to come visit.

I hope ya having a wonderful night.

~Wishing Letha A Happy Birthday & BlogVersary!

~Happy Birthday Letha~

Today is Letha's 35th Birthday!

She has such a huge heart she's going to share her birthday with her readers. I'd like ya to visit her, and wish her a Happy Birthday and Happy Bloversary.

Please visit her here...
http://thismuseofmine.blogspot.com/2009/03/my-birthdayblogaversary.html

Please also check out her previous entry where she shares her art work, she's been working on. If ya haven't had the pleasure of meeting Letha now's the time to greet and meet. She's my Quincy Sweetie's Mom. Such a talented family she has. I met Letha through my Ning group Milliande's Creativity Club. Another wonderful site to meet and share with other artists.

Today is also another Special Person's Birthday! My youngest is 22 today! She's a Fantastic Artist If I can brag on her.

This is just one of her amazing pieces. I am quite jealous of her skills. lol

My daughter is truly one of God's miracles. I wasn't supposed to have her. I was taking the pill when I became pregnant. The doctor thought my illness was the flu, and gave me meds to take along with migraine meds. When I found out I was pregnant it was suggested to not proceed. I changed doctors after letting them know God gave me a precious gift, and I'll see to it that I honor it. With that my pregnancy was uneventful. Ok, Except for the fact I never had false labor before.

On my birthday exactly one month prior to today. I was in labor all day and into the night with no results of her birth. 22 Years ago today, Budha Bear was born weighing in a Healthy 8 lbs 4 ozs. She came face up, but all in all a good birth. She has always been an honor roll student and into being creative. She's in college and always on the Principals list. I am so proud of her. I would love to go back to the doctor and show him how much of a Blessing she is to our family.

I just want to wish both Letha and Budha Bear a Very Happy Birthday!

~Would Love Some Help For A Friend~

Most of ya know by now, I'm the type of person who hates when people attack others. Well I'm asking for a HUGE favor from all of ya.
I have been following this one You Tuber for a long time. Her name is Sheryl Ng. She has her own buisness called Pincstuff.
http://www.pincstuff.com/
She's a sweet girl who is in a contest called Who Inspires You. The idea is to submit a video on ya inspiration and people vote on it. They will win 10,000 dollars if they win. Well no offense to the others, I watched them. Besides a girl name Lizzy the others aren't very good.
Sheryl's plans with the money is to pay off her schooling and to keep her business going. She wants to be a TEACHER! Now we all know how important it is to have good teachers. I want to support her and help her win. I have been voting every day, The only reason why I haven't asked before now was because I thought the contest was going to be honest.
I left Sheryl a note today letting her know I voted again. She left this note on my page.
hi hun~sighh to tell you the truth, i've been hit with a handful of hate comments attacking me personally... some arent happy to see me at #1, and even got people not to vote for me.. T___T some people can be so meannn...but thank you for your comtinued suport, i really appreciate it!! hope youre having a greatt weekend though!! *cheers*Sherylxx
This upset me. These people knew when they joined the contest it could go either way. How dare they begrudge another person their votes? What I'm asking for is this. PLEASE go here...

http://www.whoinspiresu.ca/whoinspiresu/whoinspiresu.html
And vote for Sheryl Ng.
I would love it if ya could also get ya readers to vote for her as well. I think it's only fair to get her back some votes these other people are costing her. I am proud of her for winning week one. I mean it's awesome to feel good about the hard work ya've done. She's a sweet girl who could have made a video on her page blasting these people and letting us know what they're doing to her. But she didn't she's just letting the contest play out. I think that takes integrity. I personally want to see her win. More so now that other are sending her ugly notes. She just deletes them off her page so no one knows. Please vote for her, The contest ends March 31st. I will be voting every day until then. I Appreciate ya reading this. And thanks so much for helping me.
~Big Hugs~

~And This Award Goes To...~

~This Award Goes To~

I was Blessed By Shell at http://swanofdreamers.blogspot.com/ with the above award.

My Very First Award! Whoot!

Her award was a sweet surprise!

Please visit Shell and enjoy her wonderful entries. She's a real doll!

Tell her I said Hi and sentcha her way.

Now I'm to Bless 10 Other people with this adorable award.

Here are the Rules if ya the chosen one.

1. Put the logo on your blog or post.

2. Nominate 10 blogs which show great Attitude and/or Gratitude.

(If you don't have 10, its OK.)

3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.

4. Let them know they have received this award by commenting on their blog.

5. Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.

~Now On To The Chosen Ones~

If ya ever need a touch of magical moments in ya day.

Please Visit Vanessa at http://afancifultwist.typepad.com/a_fanciful_twist/

She always seems to have delightful moments in her life that she shares.

I know she's on Typepad, and not Blogger. But I consider her a lil Fairy, in my world of Fairies.

I just love her outlook on life.

~Now for those on Blogger~

1~Mystele at http://mystele.blogspot.com/

2~Pam at http://pamwardenart.blogspot.com/

Please also see Mystele & Pam At http://faithfolk.blogspot.com/

3~Lydia at http://lydiaohlydiaart.blogspot.com/

4~K at http://heartwingsisters.blogspot.com/

5~Karin at http://aviewbeyondwords.blogspot.com/

6~Quincy (My Lil Sweetie) at http://dragonbabyart.blogspot.com/

7~Ruby Claire(Another Lil Darling) at http://ruby-rox.blogspot.com/

8~Pearle at http://redxpearl.blogspot.com/

9~Renee at http://rebartstudio.blogspot.com/

10~Renee at http://circlingmyhead.blogspot.com/

I hope each of ya know how much I enjoy coming and visiting ya blog. I appreciate ya wonderful words which lift my spirits when I need them most. It's not often ya find kindred spirits who can bring ya happiness and delight. Especially when ya've never met face to face. Just know I am very Blessed to have each of ya in my life. Thank you so much!

~Will The Real Poetic Dreams Please Stand Up~

~This Is Me~

I know ya probably wondering where I've been lately.

I want to apologise for not being able to update, Please forgive me for neglecting ya.

I've been sick this past week with Migraines. I've had them since I was lil, and they've gotten worse as I've gotten older. I try desperately to fight through them, to do what I have to do on a daily basis. Sometimes I just can't do it.

Not sure if ya know how bad a migraine can be. When I get them I am unable to drive, or be in light. I suffer from a cloudy blindness in my eyes as well as a deep piercing, pounding pain. I can't eat much because of the nausea. And If I don't eat then the pain increases. Go figure.

I explained to the doctor, That if I were to run into a brick wall. It would even come close to the pain I endure. Anyways, I'm doing OK. Still in pain but it's not excruciating as it was.

Now, On to the "Will the real Poetic Dreams Please stand up." I was asked by Pam Warden at http://faithfolk.blogspot.com/

What I looked like. I promised her my next entry I would post a picture of myself. I always keep my promises.

So if ya happened to toss ya cookies, or left the computer screaming it isn't my fault.

I'm kidding, Really I am.

Please stop by Faithfolk and say hi to Pam. Look around and enjoy the wonderful entries there.

The picture above is one I personally took. I was never really good at taking nice pictures. But I was quite happy with how this one turned out. I bought myself a lil camera and played around with taking all kinds of crazy pics. I will on occasion share them with ya. But for now ya have this one adorable,cute, fine looking face to look at. lol

And if ya wondering about my hair, Yes it's VERY long and auburn. It's just past my waist line.