Friday, October 25, 2013

~Poe FINALLY Listens~

The above picture was taken if me by my daughter Tashena in January of this year. As ya can see I wasn't the best me I could be. Having injured myself back in 2005, and being laid up for almost a year I gained some weight. Ok, Ok, not some, a ton in my eyes. I have to be honest here, I've always been small. For instance when I was 16, I only weighed 96 lbs. That's not because I was a diet junkie it's just how I was. Then I married that year, had a child the following year and totally ruined my body.
Oh, don't panic I'm not saying I was ruined because I had a child. I'm saying I was stupid and didn't listen to my body. Ya see when I was pregnant I was extremely sick to the point of being down to 65 lbs. The doctors thought I was trying to starve my baby and didn't want to "get fat." But that wasn't the case I assured them. The one thing I feared was what the doctor believeing such foolishness. This doctor (was a fill-in for my doctor) threatened to have me put in the hospital and forced fed. I told him that was unnecessary and I would do my best to gain some weight.
HUGE MISTAKE! Because that fear inside me drove me to abuse my body. I wish I had a Mother who could've guided me on my pregnancy. But those who follow me know my mother wasn't truly a decent mother she was abusive. She was definately out of the question for guidance! So I had to go it alone. I forced myself to consume the fattest foods I could for the calories. Eating three tuna fish sandwhiches with tons of mayo, fast food, etc.. just being reckless.
Even if I got sick (Which I did every time I ate) I would go back and consume more food. What I didn't realize was my body was doing it's job even though I was sick. What I did was send my body into a tailspin. I ended up going from someone who weighed 96 lbs (or 65 lbs if we go by my lowest) to someone who weighed 165 lbs before giving birth.
I did the worst thing I could ever do and that was ignore what my gut was telling me. So I gained weight and when I gave birth I ended up weighing 126 lbs. This was NOT GOOD! I never got back down to a good weight even with breastfeeding. AGAIN, I listened to the doctors who said I had to eat like I was pregnant to help my child.
The following year I gave birth to my daughter Tashena (She's the Photographer & also known here in my blog as Java Girl). I was sick with her as well but not to the extreme as it was with my son. I ended up weighing 123 lbs after her birth. In 1987 I gave birth to my final child and my final weight was 123 lbs. Now I know ya thinking 123 lbs isn't so bad. If I told ya I was only 4 foot 11 and a quarter then ya'd know it's an epic fail! I could've been heavier but I was running when I was pregnant with my youngest, so I often wonder if some of that was muscle mass.
Over the years I gained weight. The one thing I SWORE I would never be is big like my mother. She weighed 600 lbs when I was lil she managed to get down to 300 lbs. I hated the fact she was big, I thought that's what made her evil. Because she was so big she couldn't play games with us. I refused to be that type of mother no matter how big I got.
Well life did what it did & moved quickly. So much so I put myself on the back burner.I put my husband and children first and foremost. HUGE MISTAKE!  Don't get me wrong it's perfectly fine to put ya family first. BUT, not at the expense of YOU! I didn't realize this till way later in life. Yes, I know I'm not THAT old. I just wished I had known what I know now, back then.
You have to realize you only have one body, you need to take care of it. Put yaself at the top of the list. Get up every day and be the best YOU, you can be. Take a walk, write poetry, read a book, anything which makes ya spirit soar. LISTEN to ya inner voice which tells ya that they need ya. I wish I did that.
When my Tashena was pregnant and asked me for advice, here's what I told her. " Ya can listen to the doctors to a point. DO NOT let them bully ya into anything. Because at the end of the day it's you and your body not theirs!" If told her I wanted to share with her what I wish someone had given me. The knowledge to know that doctors are not always right. Had I listened to my inner voice and body, I would not be suffering the effects of what I did to my body so long ago.
I have to say she listened to me and most importantly her body.I was one proud Mama. She didn't have to worry about getting rid of extra weight after the baby (Lil Love)  was born. She was so healthy after having Lil Love that when I tried to do the belly regression pics I only managed one week. UGH! I was jealous!!! Jealous, but proud she took my advice.
Ya probably wondering why I'm rambling on this subject and not my art work. Like I said my artwork is now on This is for the more personal and reflective entries. I did post something last night on Poeception if ya want to take a peak at it.
The reason why I'm writing about my weight is this. I weighed 253 lbs in that picture. That's right, 253! I swear, I didn't realize I was that huge. See it sneaks up on ya. Today I can say I'm not at my goal weight, but I'm a whole lot better. I'm not dieting, I'm listening to my body FINALLY! I don't allow people to dictate when or how I should eat. Every time I do, I get sick. It's not a mental thing it's a disease type thing. So I've grown up since I was 16 and I listen to me and what my body needs.
I will share my weight here with ya. I only started listening to my body in July. I started by drinking water (which I hate because I was forced fed tap water so it was a huge mental block to overcome) I managed to get my pop (soda for those who don't understand what pop is) from 6 two liters a day to maybe if i'm lucky one glass a day. These were the two biggest hurdles I had to overcome. Plus eating when I knew my body couldn't handle the food.
Are ya ready to know how much I weigh?
 I now weigh 196 lbs. That's not a huge drop in weight but it feels like a ton to me. 57 lbs isn't nothing to some people, it is a huge deal for me. I'm finally putting myself first! Finally listening to my body and the signals it's sending.
My whole reason for sharing this entry is to enlighten even one soul. That it's ok to put yaself first. I'm not saying shirk ya responsibilities. But take care of the one thing you only have one of.
If this helps even one person, then I'm happy for exposing myself in this way.

Monday, February 25, 2013

Full Snow Moon~Dreamboard~

~Full Snow Moon Dreamboard~
Page 2

Page 1
I have to admit I LOVE Jaime Ridler!
She's such an inspiration to me. She's never at a loss to sharing her heart. Jaime creates dreamboards and she encourages others to join in. I find making them to relaxing & get excited when I see my dreams come true, after I've created one.
If you'd like to see what I'm speaking about please visit Jaime here...
FIRST! let me explain why my dreamboard is in two pictures.
I decided to keep all my dreamboards in a journal. I didn't want the chance to lose one of them once the month is over. I can also go back & see how much I've grown & what dreams & goals came true.
My dreamboard this month is special to me. February being my birthday month, I had a lot to discover about myself.
We were asked to think outside the box for dreams that we were keeping deep within.
Sheesh! Did this hurt or what? I mean I've blogged about my dream of getting my Poetry published & selling my art & also teaching my art for the longest time. Each time I always put it off.
What is I'm keeping deep within myself? EXACTLY all of that!
I journaled about getting my studio set up. God knows I've been trying to unpack boxes since my move in 2008. I know, I know procrastnation. But, I think I've overcome this stalemate. I've come to understand as much as I love my Mama. This isn't her home anymore. Her home is in Heaven & this is my home & I need to make it such. Thus the motive for not unpacking my last room. I didn't need a therapist to know I was keeping my grief deep within me.
I am looking forward to creating my art studio & creating more art!
I want to blog more, & create more videos, & keep my creative juices going.
Plans to finish the artwork to my Poetry & see about getting that published. This is a childhood dream I'd love to see come true. I want to be able to donate funds to a Child Abuse Fund from the sales of this book.
I also journaled to keep track of my wonderful ideas, because relying on my memory isn't gonna work. So I have a Art Portfolio Journal just for those kinds of things.
These are all what I added to my dreamboard.
I plan on keeping this in mind, (and I wrote it on the lightbulb on the dreamboard)
With this in mind I know it's ok to put myself first. It's ok to keep pimping out my art friends and their art classes & such. But it's just as important for me to get myself out there too. I know these are what have been lying dormant deep within me, and now it's time to push through the earth and spring forth and grow!

Saturday, March 24, 2012

~Where to find my Artwork~

Hi all, Just wanted you to know I'll be posting my art images here...

This blog will be for my more personal goings on, like the welcoming of my new Grandson coming in April of not sooner.

Also for any reviews I need to do on Gluten-Free items & such.

Please join me on Poeception for the latest Poe's Point Of View.

I just posted a new piece I worked on (thus the link to it) I hope ya enjoy it.

Wishing you...

Monday, July 18, 2011

ICAD Summer 2011 Challenge

ICAD Summer 2011 Challenge

First let me apologise to everyone who reads my blog. I've not posted in the longest time, due to health issues. In fact it's been just as long since I've done any artwork. I am also far behind on putting my Gluten Product Opinions here. I will be doing them soon, I promise. To letcah know what my health issue is, I've been seeing a doctor for a year now to help me with why I sleep so much. He said I had a vitamin deficency on Vitamin D. I was in the low 18's which ya supposed to be in the 35 range. I started taking 2000mg a day of vitamin D & this still hasn't changed my sleeping habits. I am constantly exhausted, & sleep is my best friend now. So please forgive me for not posting.

Now onto ICAD. ICAD stands for Index Card A Day. It's a Summer Challenge by Daisy Yellow at It's a great way to create some art when ya've no time to sit and do a big project. This challenge had my name all over it since I'm lucky if I can stay away an hour much less create anything. The above ICAD I created was to celebrate the half way mark of our journey. Now even if ya don't join in on this challenge it's a great place to grab some inspiration for when ya stuck. I hope ya stop by and visit Daisy Yellow and see what other artists have created so far. It's NEVER too late to join in on the fun.

Wishing everyone,

Sunday, November 14, 2010

~Taste Review on Savory Creations International Concentrated Broths~

Savory Creations Concentrated Broths
No MSG* Gluten Free* Natural Flavor *Non GMO
I was given the opportunity to test out these liquid concentrated broths. The flavors were Chicken, Vegtable, and Beef. They're not your average run of the mill boullion cubes or granulated broth bits. These my friends are a concentrated liquid broth in a pre-measured pouch. All you have to do is add one cup hot water, and add the concentrated broth package of your choice and stir.
I am IN LOVE with these! I could never get the granualted bits or cubes to not have floaty bits in them no matter how hot my water was. With these it's quick and easy.
I used the chicken flavor and made the following dishes.

Gluten Free Chicken Soup
Do you know how long I've wanted Chicken Noodle Soup and couldn't have any because of the Gluten? TOO LONG! I immediately got excited and started singing a lil diddy "I'm gonna have chicken noodle soup! Oh Yes!" Now Lil Love isn't one to let me have anything, without her first tasting her fair share of what I'm having.
I gave her a bowl of it and all I could hear was "MMMMM, this is delightful, Mmmmm Scrumptious" I had to giggle because she uses the most descriptive words when she's the happiest. She asked me for another bowl after she gobbled her first bowl down.
When her Da came home he asked her what she was eating. Her reply was "Nina's Gluten Free Chicken Noodle Soup Da and it's sooooooo goood!" Her Da's reply was I thought I smelt something good when I walked in.
So if you don't want to take my word for how tasty my Chicken Noodle soup with the Savory Concentrated Broth was, then maybe ya'll take the word of Lil Love.

Then I made Baked Chicken with the Chicken Concentrated Liquid Broth.
I won't torture you with what I served with this, since I know your mouth is watering just looking at my tasty chicken. lol
I will say this for the Concentrated Liquid Broth. Cleaning my roasting pan afterwards was a breeze! Usually I have to use an sos pad because it clings to the pan and it's greasy feeling. I have to say I made the comment to Mr. that cleaning up after dinner was quite easy.
I fed the family which consists of the following
Mrs. JavaGal
Mr. Java
Poetic (me)
They had no idea I was serving them Gluten Free Concentrated Liquid Broth. For all they knew it was just baked chicken to them like I usually make.
That is until Mr. Java bit into the chicken and then asked me what I did differently. lol
I asked him why and his reply was "This have extra flavor then you normally add"
Hmmm Good point I told him.
Mrs. JavaGal went on to say (and for the record is not a meat on the bone type chicken eater) She asked if she could have more.
Mr and Mrs Java then had seconds of the chicken because they enjoyed the taste, it was flavorable and not salty like the other stuff I had used.
Mr came home and devoured his chicken with delight. He too asked if there were more chicken left over. He even asked if he could take some to work for his lunch.
Now for me, Like I said with my Chicken Noodle Soup. I am IN LOVE with these concentrated liquid broths! Honestly I wish this was the only way to sell this product. You have no mess with little papers you have to take off a cube. You don't have to measure with the granulated bits. Just a little pre-measured pouch and one cup hot water and stir. It mixes in no time without floaties and bits hanging around. It comes in an easy to store box which takes up less room then those round glass containers of cubes. The shelf life on them is longer. If you have the chance to purchase this product I say "Go for it, You won't be dissappointed."
I also want to say thanks for letting test this product.

Friday, October 29, 2010

~Art Journal Challenge Blog My Doodlebugs Entry~

~Crow, Witch & Spider~
This picture is two fold.
One I wanted to do my Halloween picture I dreamed of, and this fits both Willowings & Ky's Challenges.
Ky's was to do an entry on a dream ya've had and add a zendoodle to it.
Willowings was do a Halloween picture.
I think she came out quite lovely. I really like my crow and spider. Trying to paint her in different shades of black was quite a challenge, but I think I accomplished it.
If ya'd like to join in on Ky's Challenges please click the link above and join us!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

~Wishcasting Wednesday:What do you wish to shed?~

~Wishcasting Wednesday:What do you wish to shed?~
I wish to shed the insecurities I feel about desires in life. I have these unfufilled dreams and desires and wish to see them come true.
I wish I could pimp out my artwork like I can my friends. I have no trouble posting Blogs, Twittering or even Facebooking what my friends are doing with their artwork or classes they're teaching.
When it comes to me, I feel so insecure, like who would ever want to take a class from me, or what would I even teach that hasn't been done before? Who would even want to purchase any of my work? I get so weighed down with the insecurity of my talent.
I have no problem sharing my creative ideas with friends. Yet I can't seem to come up with anything I could possibly see someone else paying for me to teach. How can I even move forward with making these dreams come true if I can't even promote myself?
How do I shed these insecurities?
I wish to be more confident in sharing what I know with the world.
The question is... How do I begin?