Monday, September 21, 2009

~Transform~



~Transform~
I made this ATC for inspiration.
Seems like I've been fighting with my body ever since I could remember. First with trying to walk correctly, to correct that I wore braces till I was 15 years old. Then I fought hard to hide bruises I received from daily beatings, and being sexually abused. I've fought kidney stones a few times, and being half deaf. What I didn't count on having to fight with my body over is living a normal life. I've been struggling since 1993 with food. No I don't have an eating disorder such as Bulimia or Anorxia, that would be too easy to solve.

What started all this? A simple trip I took with a friend to Berkley Springs, West Virginia. Don't get me wrong the trip was memorable. I am reminded every day since, how memorable that trip was. It was life changing to say the least! One day while we were on the trip we decided to take the kids to see "The Run" it's a place where they have natural spring water flowing through a section of the grounds.





It's also known for where George Washington bathed.




There's a place where ya can actually fill water jugs to take this wonderful water home with you.




It was a very hot day, and having the kids cool off in the run sounded like a good idea. What we didn't expect was an unexpected down pour of rain. Within minutes the water had risen to my knees. I decided to film the area for a momento, and showed how fast the the run had flooded. What I also didn't know was when it rains like this sewers aren't draining the water, and back up into the waters we were standing in. We had gotten the kids home and everyone showered and in clean clothes. The next day we were to venture home, Before we did we stopped off and filled up some water jugs. Can ya see where this is headed?
I brought home the water and drank it. Before long I was sick, really sick! To put it nicely, every time I ate anything I was in the restroom getting sick. Immodium was my very best friend, and
I lived this way for 10 years. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I went to the doctors, and I was told constantly it was IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) no tests, just a general that's it live with it kind of diagnosis.
During this 10 year span I became more and more a recluse. Here I was a mom of three with a hubby and I wasn't living my life. I went from being a woman on the go to a woman who feared going out and being sick. Dates with Hubby became a thing of the past, as did church and other activities I enjoyed. There is nothing worse then being a wife and mama and not being a functioning one. I decided to call the doctor again, This time I demanded something be done for me. He had me go see a gastro doctor who did tests like Endoscopy & Colonoscopy. Which I found out the hard way, I'm allergic to the drink for the Colonoscopy. He also did some stool tests.
I found out immediately through the test what I've been suffering from for 10 years. I received a call from the CDC (Center For Diesease Control) They had a conversation with me for 2 hours on the phone. Asking me all kinds of questions. What was funny was the whole time I'm talking to the lady, I'm expecting these men in white suits to break in my home & take me away like in the movie.
What I ended up having was a parasite in my small intestines. This was from drinking contaminated water from Berkeley Springs West Virgina. My daughter was the one who put it all together. So for 9 months I took medicines to kill the parasites. Did this heal me? NO! the damage that was done to my small instestines is something I can't fix. Had my doctor checked further the first time, I would've had a better chance of a full healing.
Now what I have to do is live a Gluten-Free Diet. I researched this and figured this is what I now need to do to live a semi-normal life. People who have can't have gluten is because their small intestines can't digest gluten or they have damage done like me. Eating out is more difficult for me since I need to be more aware of everything I eat. Didya know licking a stamp or envelope can make me sick? Why? Because there is gluten in them. Ya won't believe where gluten hides,things like Chapsticks, Lip glosses for instance.
Going Gluten-Free is a another challenge my family and I are dealing with. The worst part of having this is the grocery bill. To buy one loaf of Gluten-Free bread costs me $6.99. that's just an example. It's been 3 weeks since I've been without Gluten, Not withstanding last night. I went to Boston Market with hubby and had their Beef Brisket. When I had checked the website it said it was Gluten-Free But I soon found out differently. Last night and most of the day I endured such pains, that I almost went to the ER. I'm feeling better now, and even better to know it was what I had eaten and can now avoid. That's the price I pay for not inspecting food ingredients better. That's just another example of what Gluten sufferers deal with. My only question to my body is "When will I quit having to fight with you?" I'm praying it's soon, because I would like to have a life fuller then what I have now.















Friday, September 18, 2009

~Mystele's Gut Art Class~



~Gut Art Class~
It's been awhile since I've made an entry, But I had to share something with ya. I've been following artist Mystele ever since I found her on YouTube. She's such a blessing to watch and to learn from. She's a VERY giving person not only of her time, but of her knowledge of art.
I once asked her if she could tell me how to make African American skin tones. Because I was at a loss on a piece I was working on. She not only told me how, SHE SHOWED ME! She actually took the time to make a video and show me how she achieves the skin tones. I was honored she took time out to help me. She proved to me to be a generous soul.
I find her to be quite honest and refreshing in her style of artwork. The reason why I'm sharing this is because Mystele is gonna teach an art class titled "Gut Art". She wants to inspire us as artists to use our own sense of style (our gut) while creating art.
Ya can join in on the class by clicking on the link to the left of my blog. I for one think ya can learn alot from her.
She's not asking ya to make the same art as she does. She wants ya to learn to depend on that inner voice that is inside each of us, as we express ourselves through art. These are not her words but mine, I just feel the need to share how I feel about her. I'm excited to expand my knowledge, to learn something I'm sure I overlook everyday. Unfortunatley I have to wait till October 1st when this class starts. So there's plenty of time for ya join in.
By the way Mystele doesn't wantcha to buy art supplies (unless ya need them) She wants ya to use whatcha have, She knows times are tough for everyone. I think it's another example of her sweet nature to think of others. So if I peaked ya interest, click on the link to the left and see what she has to offer. If ya join (Which I hope ya do) Tell her Poetic Dreams said hi!
I hope to see what ya create if ya take her class. I know I'm gonna be showing what all I've learned.



Monday, July 13, 2009

~Lil Love's Fairy Mermaid~


"Lil Love's Fairy Mermaid"
On Saturday night Lil Love and I were doing our nightly quality time. We usually play doctor, blocks, and make art before her bath & bed time. While we were playing, Lil Love asked me if I could make her a "Pretty fairy mermaid." Now this isn't just any fairy, she made her requests known. Her fairy mermaid had to have glitter, dark pink, and fishies. She was ever so polite when she asked me. She said "Please Nina" How do ya say no to such a sweet request? I couldn't.
I started working on the fairy mermaid that night. I stopped by my local art store before work on Sunday, and picked up a few needed items. I stumbled across a few things for Lil Love's picture as well. I went to work on her portrait last night after work, and by 3am I was finished. I even added an envelope on the back of the portrait so I can write a special note for Lil Love.
A part of me was worried if I did this piece justice. I mean after all this wasn't just any art work, it was for my Lil Love. When I revealed her "Fairy Mermaid" to her she was excited. Feeling thrilled as she looked it over. Pointing out each fish, the dark pink of the mermaids tail. She was happy her name was spelled out in glitter letters. She kept repeating "I like it, I like it" Made my heart feel good for making her happy. Doesn't take much to bring a smile to her face, But when ya the one who makes it light up it's extra special.
I plan on writting the special note tonight to add to her portrait. I'd like her to know what the saying "So many...new sights...new sounds...so many different things." means. I want her to know as a two year old she is an extremely bright child. How much I love her, and all the times we've created art together brought me such joy. A letter she can have to remember our time together.






Friday, July 10, 2009

~Crow Woman~



"Crow Woman"
Just wanted to touch base with everyone on how I'm progressing on my art work. This is my very first Mixed Media art done on a 6" x 12" birchwood. I haven't sealed it as of yet because I need to purchase some beeswax as well as a hot glue pot to melt it in. Lil Love is facinated with her and says "I like it, Pretty Fairy" lol she seems to think all of Nina's people are Fairies. Don't ask me why. I do collect them but she doesn't know this.
I've been working on some challenges, and I'm really feeling like I can become the artist I should've been years ago.
Funny thing is I've been bombarded with signs pointing out my need to create. I don't usually believe in horoscopes, I mainly read them for fun. But all of June I received messages such as this.
~June 28,2009~
This is a time of new beginnings, Dear Aquarius whether you are aware of it or not, You are more then ready to take on some new chalenges. You have allowed yourself to become complacent about your career. You have the ability to make a major step up, why not do so? All that is required is a bit of effort on your part. Figure out what your ideal job would be then pursue it, or, better yet, Create it!
So I've been thinking back when I was 16,(before I married Mr.) I wanted to be the following...
A Commercial Artist, Physical Therapist, Mom. Seems I've done the mom thing, I'm onto the Nina thing. I'm not really interested in being a Physical Therapist anymore. I only wanted to be one because I wore braces on my legs from the waist down. All that's left is commercial artist. I'm not interested in being in the corporate world, because I'm not into hurting others. To be honest I'm not a competitive person to where ya have to hurt others to get ahead. But, I can still be an artist! So where do I go from here?
I need to finish school for one! I want to get my transcripts from high school and do what I can to get my high school diploma. Ok, don't look shocked I said I didn't have a high school diploma.
I'll explain for ya. Ya already know I married Mr. when I was 16. I didn't actually drop out of school, it kind of came around by accident. I was pregnant with my son and endured kidney stones when I was 6 months pregnant. I was hospitalized for almost 3 weeks, too which they threatened to do surgery if I didn't pass them. My main focus wasn't school at this point but to make sure I delivered a healthy baby. I won't go into major details, but will say my husband was told it was me or the baby.
I became and a mom and did what most moms do and that's put myself last on the list. Most of the times I never made it on the list. Life has a way of progressing faster then we all would like. My children all received their diplomas, and my heart soared with pride for accomplishing what my heart so long for. With getting my transcripts I can finish my education with a DIPLOMA not a GED. No offense to those who have a GED. But I want to get what I should've gotten years ago. Yes, it's gonna cost me more money to do it. But in the end I'll have my diploma. From there I can take some college art courses.
I made a 101 in 1001 Days List and this is on my list to do. I started it on October 13th, 2008. I need to finish it by July 11th,2011, Getting my transcripts will be one thing I can take off the list. I will admit I did pretty good on my list.
I have been working with a medium, that I want to perfect before I show my work. So far it's going pretty good. I'll share it once I get feedback on the project. I have ya curiosty peeked huh? lol I'l keep ya informed as the project progresses. Been working 10 hour days, 6 days a week. So most of the time I come home and crash. Have to finish up a few more challenges for my art groups. I'm learning so much from them and I feel blessed. I wouldn't have attempted to even try "Crow Woman" if it weren't for Mystele, Willowing & Gary. They give me the courage to explore "What if" In the famous words of Mystele http://mystele.blogspot.com/
"You can't control everything you just have to let go."
With that I've been letting go. Letting go the negative remarks & my hesitations of making my art perfect. It's freeing, really freeing. I just want to thanks Mystele for those words. She has no idea how much they've opened my eyes to my art.
Thanks Mystele hun! I so love ya, for being my inspiration!
I'm off to make art!





Sunday, July 5, 2009

~Where The Wild Things Are~



~Where The Wild Things Are~

Life certainly has been wild for me lately. Not being able to be online working on my blog, Ning Groups, and such has me frazzled. Working 10 hour days, 6 days a week has me drained by the time I get home it's all I can do to shower & sleep.

I've been keeping up with making art and I feel like I'm coming into my own. I've been trying some new techniques, and it's been amazing to see the results of my efforts. What I'm doing right now, behind the scenes is playing with a new texture technique for backgrounds. What I've created so far has somewhat impressed me.When I have this technique perfected I'll gladly share it. I will say this it's an unusal media element I'm using.
What I see other artist create has my mind spinning.

Funny thing about my art recently is every where I turn I'm seeing signs that I may have to change my career and pursue more of my art, like I had planned when I was younger. I don't usually take horoscopes to heart, basically I read them for fun. The whole month of June I've been inadated with words of encouragement about my art. At first I thought it was just in my head, but reading them outloud to others has confirmed I should look into making my art my career more then just what I do to keep my sanity.

Not sure how I'll go about it, Don't want to just jump into something and find out later I wasn't happy doing what I'm doing. I opened an Etsy shop because I had to purchase something for a friend. So now I'm thinking on what to do with it. As of right now it's empty, I have no intentions of just filling it with junk. I want it to represent my heart when I do place items there. My daughter suggested I sell my quilts as well as my art work. She said quilts were art too. I tend to agree with her on that point.
Lately I've been working on the Challenges that Gary Reef & Willowing & Millande have been posting. Ya can find their Ning sites located at the bottom of my blog.
Feel free to join in on the fun. I can say this I've learned so much about various artists through Gary. He's an amazing guy whose talents go unnoticed. Our latest Challenge was Rauschenberg, I have made two pieces since then. In fact I've been looking at trash in a whole new light. Here are the two pieces I've done for Gary.


~Rauschenberg~


~Rauschenberg 2 Home Sweet Home~
The items I used on Rauschenberg 2 are items from Mama & Grandma. The buttons,Needle treader, Buckle, Rick-Rack,Button. I named it Home Sweet Home after Mama & Grandma. Makes for a good memory piece. Mr. bought himself a new bible today and I swiped the box it came in. He said "I suppose that's for ya lateste art work?" I smiled and said "Most certaintly!" So ya see my mind is all about Rauschenberg and recycling.
I have to admit my mind was already on recycling thanks to Mystele http://www.mystele.com/ She's a wonderful artist who shares her heart and soul with others. She was the one who first introduced me to recycling cardboard for canvas. It's always available when ya feel the urge to create and ya have no canvas. Here's one piece I made using cardboard.
It's called Cupid Love.

Lil Love is even using the recycled cardboard for her art work. When ever she sees me working on my art she asks "Make Art Nina?" How do ya say no to that? I surely don't, because she's an artist in training.
I am in the middle of working on a few more challenges from Bonnie Rose on Gary Reefs ning site. She's another awesome artist I've found. In fact I have some good news! I did last months Challenges "Green Man" & "Father Time" Here are my entries http://garyreef.ning.com/photo/green-man-completed-62109?context=user
I didn't have time to make the "Musical Faires"
I did get a chance to have her add my name to a drawing she was doing. The winner would receive her Painted "Green Man" What shocked me was I won! I was so excited!!!! I usually don't win things. But when I do I get over excited about it. Will post a pic of my art when it arrives.
The above art work, Where The Wild Things Are is a Challenge from Willowings Ning Site. It was a challenge on our favorite Fairy Tales. I'm excited they're making it into a movie, I hope they do it justice. I already own the DVD book version.
I want to wish everyone a beautiful night.















Saturday, May 16, 2009

~Why & Where~



~Why & Where~
I've been through alot this past month. More then I think any human being has the right to endure.I won't go into every thing, but I will give ya the highlights. As most of ya who read me know I do my best not to name, names. I do it, not because I'm scared to divulge the players in my life or in situations. I do it mainly for myself no other reason.
I want to first ask ya to MAJORLY pray for my Mr. He's been in the hospital with pancreatitus. The doctor says this can possibly kill him. They have no clue how long he will remain in the hospital. He's in major pain,so much so they have him on a pain pump. He can get the pain meds without waiting on a nurse. They can't seem to get his pancreas to calm down nor do they know what caused it to flair up. The doctor says right now the pancreas is eating itself. Which means instead of digesting food it's digesting itself. Ya need ya pancreas to take toxins out of ya system when ya eat. It helps to break down the food ya absorb. The doctor is afraid he will get an infection so they want to give him antibiotics. He's on two IV bags to keep the fluids going since hes not eaten or drank anything since he's been in there.
Mr. has NEVER been in the hospital the whole 28 1/2 years we've been married. I'm usually the one in there with births or kidney stones. Even when he was hit head on by a drunk driver he was released to go home. So I have many worries, especially when Mr.recognized his doctor as the one who took care of Mama in her final days at the same hospital. This was his way of letting me know he doesn't feel good about his situation. He keeps telling me he loves me,misses me. I am not used to him being away from me like this. I also don't like to see him so helpless and in pain. I'm at a loss as to how to help him.
Then there's my car, Hmmm how do I explain this? It floods! Oh not floods like I did it, I mean floods like Noah's Ark. But instead of the waters rising on the outside of the car it's flooding on the inside. Have NO CLUE where it's coming from. Which means if it rains which it has been doing ALOT lately, I need to suck out all the water before I can drive her. I can't believe Faith is doing this to me. I start work next week which means 6 days a week, I will be working 10 hour days. I need Faith to control her bladder at least till September. I'm praying she'll stop allowing the water to come inside.
Then to top this ALL off! I'm dealing with some malicious people. Ya know I belong to a few Ning groups. I posted them and talked about them on my blog here. I believe when ya join any group ya should try and participate as much as possible. I do my best to participate in chats,challenges and the like. What has been happening with this one particular person is uncalled for and mostly unprofessional as an artist. Not to mention distasteful in the way people are being treated. I wasn't blind to what was going on around me, I was trying to give the person the benefit of the doubt because that's my nature. But as my last entry states, If ya keep going through a situation over & over again maybe it's you. Well this person fails to see that they need to change how they go about their art and friendships.
Am I being too vague? Ok, here's the situation...
I joined a ning group with the hopes of making friends and learning about art. This one particular Ning group was where I met some awesome ladies. I'm still friends with today. I know people believe ya can't make online friends like ya do in person. I tend to think otherwise. To me ya share what's in ya heart and on ya mind, and ya grow just the same. The difference is ya just don't meet face to face. Especially if ya friends live in Canada, UK,or other long distance places. With these ladies and the Ning leader they were asked specifically to start up a new Ning group. The idea was to have all the Ning Leaders NON-ART groups moved to this new Ning site and that the other Ning site would be for ART-CLASSES ONLY. Two of my friends worked VERY HARD to see this happen. When the Leader was asked to check the site out and for feedback as to what they thought. The leader couldn't be bothered, Too busy doing other things that interested them. So these two ladies continued to see the vision to completion. Without any prior warning the Ning Leader decided they didn't want to continue with the new Ning.Claims the vision they gave us wasn't what they meant at all,when six other people clearly heard the same thing. It was in fact that the leader wanted total control over the new Ning, even though the domain name that was purchased by one of the ladies. The leader didn't want to share the limelight with others as equals. Nor did they want others to know that they didn't put as much effort into the new Ning as the two ladies did. So walking away from the project is what the leader wanted. People seem to believe it was shut down because we couldn't use the Ning Leaders name, as was stated to others by this Ning leader. Nothing could be further from the truth. The leader changed the vision and because of all the work done already on the Ning site it wasn't possible to change midstream.The two ladies tried in vain to get information from this Ning Leader as to what it is they wanted. It was met with resistance and degrading comments. In the end it was thought best to lay the new Ning to rest, then to have it fail with members being disappointed later. Believe me it wasn't it easy decision,especially with all the positive feedback we received. We all felt the Ning would have met with great success, but the Ning Leader had already started her campaign to let everyone know she had no part in this particular Ning group starting. That we were just riding her coattails using her name for our benefit. Trust me we didn't need this Ning leader to make the group successful. Especially when none of her work was even on the site when the positive feedback was given.
There was a discussion on MSN chat, one of many since Ning Chat was changed and didn't work properly. This is how people were excluded as to the goings on except from the leaders point of view. No one knew the degrading comments made about them behind their back. How they were called annoying,whiney,clingy,a pain in the rear (not that word but ya get the point) and so on. It was made to look like We were the new click, even though this leader claims they didn't and still doesn't want clicks. This leader is the epitome of making clicks and outting others so to deflect it from them. This is the pattern which has gone on long before I came into the Ning group. The leader seeks out people who have a vast knowledge of working and operating websites. The leader persuades them to set up the Ning group or whatever website it is they need at the time. Promises of art as an exchange for their hard work,which go unfufilled. All the work is done but no art ever makes it to the person.
The leader also seeks out people who have a vast array of ideas. The leader befriends them, seeks out their ideas and then uses them as their own. Most of this Ning leaders groups are from the conversations I and others had with this leader. I can go on and on about they were but it's futile, People will believe what they want to believe. Why did I bring this up? Because as of lately things have gotten far worse then I expected them to have gotten. People are being made to look like they are out to destroy this leader. When in fact all they were doing was bringing to light what should have been done a long time ago. Also people are being banned from the Ning group after paying for a class. If people object to this leaders ideas or opinions they are considered an enemy. The leader makes a point of sharing to the world of how they're being unfairly attacked and they feign hurt and dismay at the injustice of it all. Especially with all they've claimed to have done for those who are supposedly attacking them. The leader does this to gain sympathy and new followers. Then these people seek out the offenders and attack and harrass them on behalf of the Ning Leader. Thinking they know all of what has transpired, when in fact they have only a one sided view.
If people are made aware that all isn't what it appears to be they can make a more informed decision as to whether or not to pay out money for classes, books, etc.. Especially with the economy being the way it is, people are watching their pennies. No one needs to spend money on a book to follow with this leader only to have the group leader lose interest and move on to something else. No one says ya don't have the right to change ya mind. But when people spend their hard earned money on something ya suggested then complete the course. If ya find ya didn't like it then don't offer it again. I know I personally purchased three books which NEVER made it to completion. One was started by one person the Ning leader thought could do it, since the leader had other plans.The Ning leader talked it up to everyone to get them to join in. When the person leading the group was dismissed because they were no longer in the Ning Leaders click.The Ning Leader took over, that last a whole two weeks. Yeah, prime example of a flighty personality. That's just an example of what I endured.
What makes me upset is how people who haven't a clue as to the whole situation, can judge others on what this Ning Leader feeds them. That makes ya a follower being led blindly like a sheep to the slaughter. Why not seek the people out and ask them personally what happened? Why do ya insist on insulting and harrassing the other person?
I love when people post a blog using my Native American heritage sayings to make a point, yet the don't take the it to heart. If ya claim to love ya heritage and ya make claims to this is how ya live, then follow through.
Here's some Native American quotes ya should really learn from!
"A chief must not seek profit for himself."
~Sweet Medicine~ (Cheyenne)
"Each man is good in His sight. It is not necessary for eagles to be crows."
~Hunkesni (Sitting Bull), Hunkpapa Sioux~
"You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep."
~Native Proverb~
"Listen or your tongue will keep you deaf."
~Native American Proverb~
I have no respect for those who purposely go out of their way to harm others as was done to me. Ya make yaself known as deceiteful and no friend at all. I've made it known from the beginning I'm a person who takes friendship seriously. I don't go out of my way to hurt others because it I don't want it done to me. I had people claim to be my friend only to report my life back to this Ning Leader. I was met with being banned from her group. No loss to me, I move on freely. What I didn't appreciate was being accused of talking to someone I have no knowledge of, or spoke to. If ya want to ban me from ya group make it a legitimate reason. Not because I posted a Ebay link on my personal twitter that YOU YASELF don't follow. Which meant someone sentcha my twitter. Don't have to guess who it was, I already was told by the leader who gave it up. No suprise this person still is a sheep and follows blindly. By the way the Ebay link was my way of PURPOSELY Seeking the Sheep out! Way to go for taking the bait. And thanks for deleting yaself from my life. I don't need fake people in my world. I want people who are supportive and honest. I didn't appreciate that all this happened at a time I should be focusing on my Mr's recovery. I even told the Ning Leader I was dealing with Mr. in the hospital, this was ignored as they went on to defend how much they were wronged by this person and that. And I should pass they're message onto the following people. No where in the letter did it have any direct connection to me. Just the leaders way of passing the buck as usual.
I'm gonna leave this as is. I lose nothing by being banned from this Ning, I in fact welcome the changes. I am a stronger person for knowing I am above the high schoolers, who pretend to be adults. Don't bother to worry if the Ning Leader knows of this post they were informed I was gonna be writting it. But if ya have to feel special, PLEASE feel free to let ya classmates know it's here. I'm not hiding, I'm here and this blog will remain here as well.
I will leave the following link so ya may on ya own, futher seek knowledge as to whether or not ya chose to spend ya money on this particular Ning. It will also give ya information as to what steps ya can take if ya were a paying member to classes which were not completed.
I have some wonderful Ning Groups I belong to, which are drama free and so friendly and there's no fee to join!
Check them out as well.


"Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher."



Wednesday, May 6, 2009

~There Is A Solution~


~There Is A Solution~
I borrowed this quote from http://idyllicmuse.blogspot.com/
"One has to wonder. If a certain element continues to surround you.

Perhaps you are the one inviting it in."
She had posted it on Twitter, and it really said what I've been thinking lately.
It seems to me that a couple of my friends keep "revisiting" a certain situation in their lives. When I, or others try to speak into their life about how they can move on and grow they turn a deaf ear. It's like they live to be the victim in any given circumstance so they can broadcast it for sympathy.What they don't do is tell what part they played in the situation.
I do believe some ill can befall us from time to time. But to have the SAME situation every time is hard to fathom. Just because the players change, doesn't mean it's a new dilemma to deal with. It's God's way of showing ya how YOU Need to change.
I know I'm speaking vaguely here, but that's because it can be used on any given situation.
You can't tell people one thing and then try and go back on it when ya feel out of sorts. You can't pretend to have friends in ya life and that they matter then toss them aside when ya think someone better comes along. Nor can ya expect the people ya tossed aside sit idly by without confronting ya on it. Nor expect them to keep supporting ya, and ya wants when ya don't give two cents for their feelings,wants, or desires.
Ya can't keep using people to profit from their ideas and use them as ya own. What ya fail to see is people will eventually find ya out. People tend to chat about what goes on in their lives and ya name will appear and situations spoke of. So if ya think ya think ya can continue to live ya life like this, DO NOT Be surprised that people will find ya dishonorable, shady, selfish and a user. Because in the end ya reap whatcha sow.
There is a solution...
Why not be a person of principal rather then a person without integrity?
Martin Luther King Jr. & Abraham Lincoln have sound advice on life.
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate only love can do that." ~Martin Luther King, Jr.
"I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but to live by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right, and stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong." ~Abraham Lincoln
When I think on these two quotes from such wonderful leaders. I am reminded to be a woman of honor and have respect for others. I will allow others to make mistakes with me. I will allow them a second chance. What I will NOT allow is for ANYONE to make me feel like I am using them for personal gain. I have no desire to use others for anything. I am a woman who will give anyone the shirt of my back, or my last dollar if it means their happiness. But I will not allow anyone to suck the life out of my happiness so they can look good in the eyes of others. I do have a huge heart and love to see others happy and successful. I don't have any desire to be thrust in the limelight. I am a behind the scenes kind of gal. If I could make my friends dreams comes true, or bring a smile to their face I will do it. But I will do it with honor and integrity.
I just want the same respect from those I know. Is this too much to ask?
I think not.