Wednesday, April 8, 2009

~What Kind Of Friend Are You?~

~What Kind Of Friend Are You~

Life...Friends...Hurt...We all long to have people in our life who will be there for ya. We long to have someone we can confide our Fears...Hopes...Dreams to. We believe the people we choose to be involved in our life will remain there forever. When it doesn't, It hurts. Deeply...Painfully...Regretably.... We are left behind, feeling alone...crushed...abandoned. Sometimes we know why someone walks away from a friendship, other times we're left with confusion. Where do ya go from there? How do ya pick up the pieces of the life ya shared with them? Do ya seek them out for answers, of ya wrongs ya might have commited? Does it even phase ya that they walked away?
I would find it sad to be involved with someone and have them just walk away without explanation. Me personally, I admit to ending a almost twenty year friendship with someone I considered a best friend almost sister like. Why did I walk away? How did I walk away? Did my friend have a heads up as to why I ended the friendship?
My friend was given every chance to right the wrong she commited. She chose her path as I chose mine. I am not a person who goes out of their way to cause others. To me that's not the definition of friendship. She had asked me why a friend of hers walked away from her without explanation? At the time I could not give her one valid reason. I now can see why this friend of hers from childhood walked away. It was for the same reason I did. I did what her other friend did not. I explained to her the hurts...pain...sadness...she caused me in a time I didn't need it. When I needed her most she wasn't and couldn't be there for me. Same situation, different time, I was there above and beyond for her. Sadly she couldn't the same for me. I gave her time to correct this and she chose not to acknowledge any of it. There wasn't anything more I could do but to walk away to save myself from further hurt.
Am I sad she's not a part of my life? Yes, I am. Am I in a better place in my life without her in it? Yes, most definately. Would we be friends again...I'm not sure, If she continues the path she's on then a definate no.
When given the chance, to be told the offense or hurt ya committed. Knowingly or unknowingly would ya want to know why someone walked outta ya life? What would ya do to correct the situation? Are ya willing to let people in and outta ya life like a revolvong door? I personally don't have people coming and going in my life. I'm a person who takes each friendship to heart. I treasure the person not for WHAT they can do for me, But for WHO they are. There's a reason why someone crosses ya path in life. They are there to speak into ya life when other voices are silent. They help ya to grow as a person, they bring laughter, joy and memories. Each a special jewel to be taken care of and protected.
I long to keep people in my life, I will go the extra mile to be the friend I would want in return. I wonder... Do ya value who's in ya life right now? If ya do don't hesitate to let them know they matter to ya. Don't put it off, let them know NOW! If ya hurt someone, and ya AWARE ya hurt them, Make ammends today. If ya feel a friendship has shifted or changed and not for the better, acknowledge it to ya friend. Seek the person out and ask them. Apologize for any misunderstandings. Ask to be forgiven and be able to move on from this day forward. Do what ya can to keep those ya love and cherish in ya life for as long as ya can. Ya never know when either one of ya may no longer walk this earth. Time is fleeting and we're not promised tomorrow.


Marylin Houle said...

You were very strong to walk away from the friendship, it must have been hard.

What you're talking about strikes a nerve: I hate when people don't tell me/explain to me why things have changed. Like you, I take friendship to heart so it does hurt a lot when that happens... sometimes I wish I were more cold-hearted so things wouldn't hurt me as much, ya know?

~Vintage Nina~ said...

Hi! Thanks for sharing. You are a wonderful fiend, because the best ones will tell you the hard stuff, and they will help you look at things about yurself that are not always easy. When we are faced with ugly parts of ourselves it is up to us to look within. You are a gift to this friend, and she will figure it out one way or another. This journey in life is full of lessons.......some are not so easy, but know that you did was the right thing. If it is meant to be then you will hear from your friend again, and things will change. If not then know you were a tool for her to learn something important about herself. Don't judge yourself.......we are all humans. Stay strong and keep your chin up. YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL SOUL! I love you, and I am so thankful to have you for a friend!!! Big hugs and smiles today.....for you!
Thanks for the comment on my blog, and I am so glad to see you put your award on your deserve it sweet girl!

Leslie said...

I agree with you Lil...most folks know when it's time to end a relationship, but not everyone is brave enough to do so. If we search within and know what we deserve of our friends, family, and loved ones, we will all know what is acceptable and what is not. It is always beter to give the person you are leaving the benefit of knowing they can have closure and maybe work on themselves some, making changes to avoid the same thing happening again. They might even be able to make the relationship whole again, though it will never be like the original relationship.
I admire your strength and enjoyed reading this post. Thanks for sharing.


Micki said...

I walked away from a friendship once too, we just were going in opposite directions at the time.
It felt like i'd lost a part of me but as time went on I knew it was the best thing I could have done and now i'm happy and know it was the right thing to do *sigh* life's a bitch ;)

Micki x

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the Bday wishes!! I love your post about friendship. It made me think about how great the blog world is, such a great opportunity to connect with people all over the world and develop friendships you might never had before.

Joyfulsister said...

Hi Sis,
(((Hugz)) It was a blessing to see you , and I also wnat to say " Happy Easter." I can relate to this post. I also have experienced a friendship ending, I had to because we were both going in different paths. Someimes when a friendship is not in a healthy place and your friend wants to stay, but you know it is not where the Lord wants you to dwell, you need to release that friendship as hard as it may be. But I did explain why I felt we could no longer hang out together. I had to make peace with her, she was upset, but was glad I was straight up with her. I continue to pray for her .

Hugz Lorie

Renee said...

the colours in your painting of roots are beautiful. the painting is gorgeous.

as far as the friend goes, i believe in all things in life to speak my truth and give them a chance to speak hers. and you did.

nothing left to gather up your strength and move on.

Happy Easter to you and yours.

Love Renee xoxo

Lydia said...

I had a childhood best friend, who after all we had been through, was not there for me , for something simple, yet very important. She never even got back to me as to why she couldn't come/be there for me. I wrote her a 10 page letter, giving her the chance to explain, to step up to the plate. Yet, she did not.

Years and years later, I wrote a Christmas card c/o her mother, not even knowing if her Mom still lived there.

She contacted me the next year. We have sporadic contact now, yet it seems sweet. Her life is filled now with 'the beautiful people', yet I see her soul still intact through her brief words.

I too had ached for the friendship, but knew that what grew to be rather one-sided would not suffice, and thus the letter.

There have been times throughout the years that I felt that she was thinking of me/our friendship. I somehow felt connected. I don't know how to explain it. I still don't know her whole story, and don't know if I ever will, unless we get together back home, where we grew up.

Such is life. She is still in my thoughts and prayers, yet I have moved on.:)

Have a very Blessed Easter !!!! Enjoy your family rituals and times. They are the stitches that bind us together in this life.
xo Lydia