Saturday, May 16, 2009

~Why & Where~

~Why & Where~
I've been through alot this past month. More then I think any human being has the right to endure.I won't go into every thing, but I will give ya the highlights. As most of ya who read me know I do my best not to name, names. I do it, not because I'm scared to divulge the players in my life or in situations. I do it mainly for myself no other reason.
I want to first ask ya to MAJORLY pray for my Mr. He's been in the hospital with pancreatitus. The doctor says this can possibly kill him. They have no clue how long he will remain in the hospital. He's in major pain,so much so they have him on a pain pump. He can get the pain meds without waiting on a nurse. They can't seem to get his pancreas to calm down nor do they know what caused it to flair up. The doctor says right now the pancreas is eating itself. Which means instead of digesting food it's digesting itself. Ya need ya pancreas to take toxins out of ya system when ya eat. It helps to break down the food ya absorb. The doctor is afraid he will get an infection so they want to give him antibiotics. He's on two IV bags to keep the fluids going since hes not eaten or drank anything since he's been in there.
Mr. has NEVER been in the hospital the whole 28 1/2 years we've been married. I'm usually the one in there with births or kidney stones. Even when he was hit head on by a drunk driver he was released to go home. So I have many worries, especially when Mr.recognized his doctor as the one who took care of Mama in her final days at the same hospital. This was his way of letting me know he doesn't feel good about his situation. He keeps telling me he loves me,misses me. I am not used to him being away from me like this. I also don't like to see him so helpless and in pain. I'm at a loss as to how to help him.
Then there's my car, Hmmm how do I explain this? It floods! Oh not floods like I did it, I mean floods like Noah's Ark. But instead of the waters rising on the outside of the car it's flooding on the inside. Have NO CLUE where it's coming from. Which means if it rains which it has been doing ALOT lately, I need to suck out all the water before I can drive her. I can't believe Faith is doing this to me. I start work next week which means 6 days a week, I will be working 10 hour days. I need Faith to control her bladder at least till September. I'm praying she'll stop allowing the water to come inside.
Then to top this ALL off! I'm dealing with some malicious people. Ya know I belong to a few Ning groups. I posted them and talked about them on my blog here. I believe when ya join any group ya should try and participate as much as possible. I do my best to participate in chats,challenges and the like. What has been happening with this one particular person is uncalled for and mostly unprofessional as an artist. Not to mention distasteful in the way people are being treated. I wasn't blind to what was going on around me, I was trying to give the person the benefit of the doubt because that's my nature. But as my last entry states, If ya keep going through a situation over & over again maybe it's you. Well this person fails to see that they need to change how they go about their art and friendships.
Am I being too vague? Ok, here's the situation...
I joined a ning group with the hopes of making friends and learning about art. This one particular Ning group was where I met some awesome ladies. I'm still friends with today. I know people believe ya can't make online friends like ya do in person. I tend to think otherwise. To me ya share what's in ya heart and on ya mind, and ya grow just the same. The difference is ya just don't meet face to face. Especially if ya friends live in Canada, UK,or other long distance places. With these ladies and the Ning leader they were asked specifically to start up a new Ning group. The idea was to have all the Ning Leaders NON-ART groups moved to this new Ning site and that the other Ning site would be for ART-CLASSES ONLY. Two of my friends worked VERY HARD to see this happen. When the Leader was asked to check the site out and for feedback as to what they thought. The leader couldn't be bothered, Too busy doing other things that interested them. So these two ladies continued to see the vision to completion. Without any prior warning the Ning Leader decided they didn't want to continue with the new Ning.Claims the vision they gave us wasn't what they meant at all,when six other people clearly heard the same thing. It was in fact that the leader wanted total control over the new Ning, even though the domain name that was purchased by one of the ladies. The leader didn't want to share the limelight with others as equals. Nor did they want others to know that they didn't put as much effort into the new Ning as the two ladies did. So walking away from the project is what the leader wanted. People seem to believe it was shut down because we couldn't use the Ning Leaders name, as was stated to others by this Ning leader. Nothing could be further from the truth. The leader changed the vision and because of all the work done already on the Ning site it wasn't possible to change midstream.The two ladies tried in vain to get information from this Ning Leader as to what it is they wanted. It was met with resistance and degrading comments. In the end it was thought best to lay the new Ning to rest, then to have it fail with members being disappointed later. Believe me it wasn't it easy decision,especially with all the positive feedback we received. We all felt the Ning would have met with great success, but the Ning Leader had already started her campaign to let everyone know she had no part in this particular Ning group starting. That we were just riding her coattails using her name for our benefit. Trust me we didn't need this Ning leader to make the group successful. Especially when none of her work was even on the site when the positive feedback was given.
There was a discussion on MSN chat, one of many since Ning Chat was changed and didn't work properly. This is how people were excluded as to the goings on except from the leaders point of view. No one knew the degrading comments made about them behind their back. How they were called annoying,whiney,clingy,a pain in the rear (not that word but ya get the point) and so on. It was made to look like We were the new click, even though this leader claims they didn't and still doesn't want clicks. This leader is the epitome of making clicks and outting others so to deflect it from them. This is the pattern which has gone on long before I came into the Ning group. The leader seeks out people who have a vast knowledge of working and operating websites. The leader persuades them to set up the Ning group or whatever website it is they need at the time. Promises of art as an exchange for their hard work,which go unfufilled. All the work is done but no art ever makes it to the person.
The leader also seeks out people who have a vast array of ideas. The leader befriends them, seeks out their ideas and then uses them as their own. Most of this Ning leaders groups are from the conversations I and others had with this leader. I can go on and on about they were but it's futile, People will believe what they want to believe. Why did I bring this up? Because as of lately things have gotten far worse then I expected them to have gotten. People are being made to look like they are out to destroy this leader. When in fact all they were doing was bringing to light what should have been done a long time ago. Also people are being banned from the Ning group after paying for a class. If people object to this leaders ideas or opinions they are considered an enemy. The leader makes a point of sharing to the world of how they're being unfairly attacked and they feign hurt and dismay at the injustice of it all. Especially with all they've claimed to have done for those who are supposedly attacking them. The leader does this to gain sympathy and new followers. Then these people seek out the offenders and attack and harrass them on behalf of the Ning Leader. Thinking they know all of what has transpired, when in fact they have only a one sided view.
If people are made aware that all isn't what it appears to be they can make a more informed decision as to whether or not to pay out money for classes, books, etc.. Especially with the economy being the way it is, people are watching their pennies. No one needs to spend money on a book to follow with this leader only to have the group leader lose interest and move on to something else. No one says ya don't have the right to change ya mind. But when people spend their hard earned money on something ya suggested then complete the course. If ya find ya didn't like it then don't offer it again. I know I personally purchased three books which NEVER made it to completion. One was started by one person the Ning leader thought could do it, since the leader had other plans.The Ning leader talked it up to everyone to get them to join in. When the person leading the group was dismissed because they were no longer in the Ning Leaders click.The Ning Leader took over, that last a whole two weeks. Yeah, prime example of a flighty personality. That's just an example of what I endured.
What makes me upset is how people who haven't a clue as to the whole situation, can judge others on what this Ning Leader feeds them. That makes ya a follower being led blindly like a sheep to the slaughter. Why not seek the people out and ask them personally what happened? Why do ya insist on insulting and harrassing the other person?
I love when people post a blog using my Native American heritage sayings to make a point, yet the don't take the it to heart. If ya claim to love ya heritage and ya make claims to this is how ya live, then follow through.
Here's some Native American quotes ya should really learn from!
"A chief must not seek profit for himself."
~Sweet Medicine~ (Cheyenne)
"Each man is good in His sight. It is not necessary for eagles to be crows."
~Hunkesni (Sitting Bull), Hunkpapa Sioux~
"You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep."
~Native Proverb~
"Listen or your tongue will keep you deaf."
~Native American Proverb~
I have no respect for those who purposely go out of their way to harm others as was done to me. Ya make yaself known as deceiteful and no friend at all. I've made it known from the beginning I'm a person who takes friendship seriously. I don't go out of my way to hurt others because it I don't want it done to me. I had people claim to be my friend only to report my life back to this Ning Leader. I was met with being banned from her group. No loss to me, I move on freely. What I didn't appreciate was being accused of talking to someone I have no knowledge of, or spoke to. If ya want to ban me from ya group make it a legitimate reason. Not because I posted a Ebay link on my personal twitter that YOU YASELF don't follow. Which meant someone sentcha my twitter. Don't have to guess who it was, I already was told by the leader who gave it up. No suprise this person still is a sheep and follows blindly. By the way the Ebay link was my way of PURPOSELY Seeking the Sheep out! Way to go for taking the bait. And thanks for deleting yaself from my life. I don't need fake people in my world. I want people who are supportive and honest. I didn't appreciate that all this happened at a time I should be focusing on my Mr's recovery. I even told the Ning Leader I was dealing with Mr. in the hospital, this was ignored as they went on to defend how much they were wronged by this person and that. And I should pass they're message onto the following people. No where in the letter did it have any direct connection to me. Just the leaders way of passing the buck as usual.
I'm gonna leave this as is. I lose nothing by being banned from this Ning, I in fact welcome the changes. I am a stronger person for knowing I am above the high schoolers, who pretend to be adults. Don't bother to worry if the Ning Leader knows of this post they were informed I was gonna be writting it. But if ya have to feel special, PLEASE feel free to let ya classmates know it's here. I'm not hiding, I'm here and this blog will remain here as well.
I will leave the following link so ya may on ya own, futher seek knowledge as to whether or not ya chose to spend ya money on this particular Ning. It will also give ya information as to what steps ya can take if ya were a paying member to classes which were not completed.
I have some wonderful Ning Groups I belong to, which are drama free and so friendly and there's no fee to join!
Check them out as well.

"Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher."

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

~There Is A Solution~

~There Is A Solution~
I borrowed this quote from
"One has to wonder. If a certain element continues to surround you.

Perhaps you are the one inviting it in."
She had posted it on Twitter, and it really said what I've been thinking lately.
It seems to me that a couple of my friends keep "revisiting" a certain situation in their lives. When I, or others try to speak into their life about how they can move on and grow they turn a deaf ear. It's like they live to be the victim in any given circumstance so they can broadcast it for sympathy.What they don't do is tell what part they played in the situation.
I do believe some ill can befall us from time to time. But to have the SAME situation every time is hard to fathom. Just because the players change, doesn't mean it's a new dilemma to deal with. It's God's way of showing ya how YOU Need to change.
I know I'm speaking vaguely here, but that's because it can be used on any given situation.
You can't tell people one thing and then try and go back on it when ya feel out of sorts. You can't pretend to have friends in ya life and that they matter then toss them aside when ya think someone better comes along. Nor can ya expect the people ya tossed aside sit idly by without confronting ya on it. Nor expect them to keep supporting ya, and ya wants when ya don't give two cents for their feelings,wants, or desires.
Ya can't keep using people to profit from their ideas and use them as ya own. What ya fail to see is people will eventually find ya out. People tend to chat about what goes on in their lives and ya name will appear and situations spoke of. So if ya think ya think ya can continue to live ya life like this, DO NOT Be surprised that people will find ya dishonorable, shady, selfish and a user. Because in the end ya reap whatcha sow.
There is a solution...
Why not be a person of principal rather then a person without integrity?
Martin Luther King Jr. & Abraham Lincoln have sound advice on life.
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate only love can do that." ~Martin Luther King, Jr.
"I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but to live by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right, and stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong." ~Abraham Lincoln
When I think on these two quotes from such wonderful leaders. I am reminded to be a woman of honor and have respect for others. I will allow others to make mistakes with me. I will allow them a second chance. What I will NOT allow is for ANYONE to make me feel like I am using them for personal gain. I have no desire to use others for anything. I am a woman who will give anyone the shirt of my back, or my last dollar if it means their happiness. But I will not allow anyone to suck the life out of my happiness so they can look good in the eyes of others. I do have a huge heart and love to see others happy and successful. I don't have any desire to be thrust in the limelight. I am a behind the scenes kind of gal. If I could make my friends dreams comes true, or bring a smile to their face I will do it. But I will do it with honor and integrity.
I just want the same respect from those I know. Is this too much to ask?
I think not.